Today, my store manager (the last of my managers to see me since I put in my 2 weeks) wouldn’t speak to me all day because “he doesn’t speak to quitters” until he found a foam pool noodle to repeatedly hit me with while saying “WE SCOOPED YOU UP FROM THE GUTTER AND TREATED YOU LIKE A QUEEN AND YOU SHIT ON US.” while my other manager stood there cracking up and said “heh. Look, Chuck’s hitting her with his big stick…that’s what she said.” I am going to miss having stupid boy managers.

Yesterday at work, I had this conversation with my manager.

Him: You always have the craziest nail paint.
Me: This time I wanted them to look like nebulae.  
Him: ….what?
Me: A nebula…it’s an interstellar cloud of dust and gases. 
Him: ….
Me: …like space stuff.
Him: Gotcha.

Later that day

Customer: I love your nails!
Manager: They’re space spirits.  

ashleyceleste:

• Eat a light bulb
• Listen to Linkin Park on repeat
• be handcuffed to Mario Lopez for a day
• Go on a world tour with Nickelback and Creed
• have someone poke me in the eye with toenails.
• kiss Brian Peppers. WITH MY EYES OPEN

Making this now the “things that I would rather do than go to work from 6 am to 7:30 am tomorrow, go back home, come back later in the day at 3 and leave at 11” list and adding: 

• place my head on the tongue of an alligator
• watch elderly porn
• find a man with a giant beard and eat leftover food particles out of it.
• Swallow a pine cone 
• chew on someones nose hairs
• have someone play the “quit hitting yourself” or “I’m not touching you” game for an hour and a half.
• light my ears on fire

Today at work, my manager was intruding on a conversation at work. I told my friend Michael I bought a “short hair” dress for when I cut my hair tomorrow, and this is how our conversation went.

Michael: Wanna know what looks good with dresses?
Manager:…boobs.
Michael: HAIR.
Manager:……boobs.

and then later today, when he was trying to convince me not to cut my hair because guys like long hair, our conversation went like this.

Manager: wanna know the 3 reasons I fell in love with my wife?
Me: What?
Manager: first her heart, then her hair and then her freckles….oh and her boobs. her boobs too.
Me: HOW ROMANTIC!
Manager: yeah, she has big boobs.

O_o 

I was sick, I cried, I was hungry, and I got a customer complaint (because the customer was a butthole.)

I need a vacation! ….oh wait. : )

At work, there’s a lady that EVERY SINGLE DAY says “are you sick? you look pale.” NO. I’M NOT SICK! I’m fair skinned! There is nothing wrong with being pale! Have you not noticed that I’m ALWAYS pale? I don’t tan! It’s bad for you! I’m actually healthier because I’m pale thank you very much.

And then there’s another person that always has something negative to say to me, and I always just brush it off. Lately he’s just been randomly saying “you’re not funny.” FOR NO REASON. I might not even be interacting with anyone, but he has to make sure that I know that I am not funny. One of these days, I’m gonna punch him in the head, laugh and say “Who’s laughin’ now? I think I’m pretty darn funny.” ….ok probably not.

Had to get that out of my system, now time to be positive for the rest of the day! :)